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I am one step closer to giving up. Not sure why. overwhelmed, underpaid, sideways glance. i look away. my eyes have been seeing new things and i snap them shut hoping they work like the digital camera i left at home. Tommorow is fucking wednesday! Yuck! email sue. buy a diaper pail. if i write down maybe it will happen. only i have written it all down and nothing is going according to plan. he says you have to do it every day. when am i going to do it every day? money dries out your fingers. Beware. counting and counting. $13,407. to be precise. those cops collect. you dig? and it was sunny half of the day too. Real people. Real things. these are their stories. King is barking every time i step out to take a breath. orders. And sandy stands over your shoulder with clip board. Any cores? How 'bout a referral to a psychiatrist Fluff and buff? I have an urge now to reach over and grab his tie. make it crooked like his conscience. slide it between my fingers to the tip of the silky fabric, look deep in his eyes lick my lips then run away laughing. hysterics! i have been missing the humor in these situations. silly me!Current Mood:  giggles Current Music: what a goon! |
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she keeps calling. pacing the floor. busy signal. slam down the phone. look out the window. compulsive dial. who could she be talking to? wringing hands. tears are welling. dial tone. slam the phone. fall on the floor. give in. give in to the fear. tears, snot, drool. search for a tissue. wipe eyes, nose, mouth. deep breath. the phone rings. |
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The dogs are barking. The vaccum is sucking. Grandma is yelling.Current Mood:  cynical Current Music: this stupid song is stuck |
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He is old and the feelings of love are gone for him,
but the friendship had was strong and true
and it is hard not to share everything.Current Mood:  Well, I wonder. Current Music: The buzz of Bees... |
| » the very first... |
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It was as if i had just woke up from a dream.
perhaps i did.
Eyelids heavy and arms impossible to lift as the clouds began to clear.
I broke like a reed under the weight of you
I handed over the keys to my car and a heart slightly smaller than it used to be
Then came the blow
that powerful smack to my long suffering ego
i took that punch to the stomach
and all breath left me
curled fetus stlye, deflated and cold
But as i regained my breath i stood taller
i filled my lungs and with each breath a spirit ballooned
a spirit nearly forgotten in the choas of love making
remembered once "love" was gone and exercised by my lungs
feirce cries of anguish came from me and the sadness poured out
Replaced by ME. I have returned and I am not going anywhere.
Aug. 27th, 2005 @ 05:26 pm
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